"Phillip tries to confuse the ROBOT with an anti-logic statement! The robot goes home to rethink its life." [Inflicts Death on Robot]
"The ROBOT beeps menacingly! Phillip lets out a strange peeping noise!" [Removes 10HP from Phillip]
"The DUBSTEREOS blare sound! PHILLIP clamps his hands over his ears and sobs!"
"Phillip pays 25 rubles to download music legally! The DUBSTEREOS scoff." [Removes 25 Rubles]
"The ROBOT trips and falls on the DUBSTEREOS! DUBSTEREO 1 and DUBSTEREO 2 are smashed to pieces!" [Inflicts Death on both Dubstereos]
"The ROBOT repairs itself!" [Restores 200HP to Robot]
"...Nothing happens. HAH YOU FELL FOR IT actually all the enemies explode and stuff." [Inflicts Death on every enemy]
"Phillip dons a trench coat and sharpshoots the ROBOT! Critical!! Wooo!!" [Removes 60HP from Robot]
"The DUBSTEP MUTANT's ears rupture! Without its lifeblood it falls lifeless to the ground. Phillip freaks out and hastily tosses it into an unmarked grave and sobs, traumatized. Leg Horse slaps him back to his senses." [Inflicts Death on Dubstep Mutant]
"Phillip switches the DUBSTEREOS to play country music instead! The DUBSTEP MUTANT lets out a pained cry and takes 25 damage!" [Removes 25HP from Dubstep Mutant]
"The DUBSTEREOS blare sound! PHILLIP clamps his hands over his ears and sobs!"
"Phillip puts on noise cancelling headphones! Phillip becomes empowered!" [Inflicts Muscled on Phillip]
"A song comes on the DUBSTEREO that reminds Phillip of being DUMPED IN HIGHSCHOOL! Phillip cries. :("
"The DUBSTEP MUTANT coughs up an item! Got Neon Tongue!" [Gain Neon Tongue]
"Leg Horse bleeds profusely in disgust at the SNIVELING PUKES before him. The DUBSTEP MUTANT slips in Leg Horse's blood and takes 20 damage!" [Removes 20HP from Dubstep Mutant]
"Phillip stares awkwardly and waits for something to happen but it doesn't."
